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A place of communion, whether religious or secular, is made what it is by the people who flow through it. Wayside Chapel in Kings Cross, is one of Sydney’s most vibrant and active examples of such a place. A community centre, a church, a drop in centre and more, its CEO is a pastor, but it is staffed by both secular and religious social workers and volunteers.

Wayside Renga is a model of this place. It is built out of sentiments, sentences, phrases or words that captured the quirks and imaginative essence of four people I spoke to, and two people I overheard, at Wayside Chapel over four months in 2011.

recorded at wayside chapel, 2011. with many thanks to the staff, volunteers and patrons of wayside chapel and the red room company.
sound design: marcus whale web design: jonathon miller illustration and typesetting: gemma obrien
The poem is structured in five parts, which are layered one on top of the other, so that the poem is dug into via a series of hyperlinks, rather than read down the page. The poem is designed to expand as the reader digs through each layer, loosely mimicking the way we encounter new people, or remember old acquaintances in a dream.

Passing through this poem could also be like sinking from the steeple to the ground floor of a church, where the first four words you encounter represent the point of the steeple. Here, the words are closer to the sky, closer to music, closer to the spirit. Clicking on them reveals the lines they came from: short and concise, like lines from a prayer. In the third layer - Hubub - distinct personalities are glimpsed and combined to create a sense of Wayside as a space of intersecting imaginations, conversations, thoughts, and comments. In this layer, music is made as a result of these voices humming together. In the fourth layer - Dream - we enter into a more personal, intimate dream realm – where selected images from each person’s conversation have been thrown into focus and re-collected to capture a sense of what it felt like speaking with each individual. When we have conversations with people, we’re usually not only listening for meaning, we’re also listening for the mood of the other person; their emotional fluctuations. These can sometimes be communicated through language, and sometimes not. Here, I’ve tried to use the language available to me to hedge that feeling in. The final layer - Ground - is closest to the real world. Here, you can hear snippets of stories told by the four people I got to know over four months in 2011, and engage with what preoccupied them as they lived their day-to-day lives, both in and out of Wayside.
Play Poem

Click to learn about the Poem
click here and then on words and phrases to open wayside renga and piece it together
*Some names have been changed to protect the privacy of interviewees.

Marc

It was Michel Foucault who pointed out that one of the central tenets
of the Enlightenment was that power should be enacted with
reason,

which is not a small concept, because of course it’s central to the notion
of democracy, for example. Democracy is an idea that power is enacted

through a dialectic struggle which is the formation
of the aggregate opinion of the majority of people.

But also you’ve got ideas like
rationalism and science

which also informs that dialectic
struggle, in a way that means

the conclusions that people arrive to ought
to be informed. They should be rational.

They should be a rational discourse
so people
start with an agreed collection of axioms.

They agree on them. They make non-controversial
inferences, so that the other person can’t dispute it –

or if they can, then that means
your argument is weak, right?

That’s, I think, the situation now, is that
argument
has no place. Argument has no –

reasoned argument has no place
in Australia in 2011. No,

it’s all politics of symbols. It’s all
about symbols. Well the really

crucial symbol is the symbol
that people create for themselves.

How they define themselves. What their
narrative is.
There’s a great impetus for
people to form a concept

of what their own narrative is. And I think that’s a big,
that’s an aspect of consumerist culture. Because advertising –

because consumer culture - so originally
advertising was about informing people

of the
reasons narrative why your product
is better than other people’s.

Or at least why your product
is a good product.

And then it was Edward Béarnaise,
the nephew of Freud, who first applied

psychology to advertising and turned it into this idea
of fulfilling people’s sort of – sub sub –

yeah subconscious needs and desires. And then,
you know, there was a very active, very active

push in the US for example. I mean, the New Deal meant that
there was a very large middle class and this caused manufacturers

to panic, cause they went: well, now that so many people
are satisfied, how can we continue selling things?

I mean these sound like abstract, or even sort of maybe
paranoid
concepts, but they’re there. They’re historical.

Advertising is not something on the periphery of society.
It’s
everywhere. It’s everywhere. It’s in the sinews of society.

If someone watches
television - and the average Australian watches
several hours of television every day – three minutes out of every ten,

they’re going to sit there
and watch advertising.





There was a reaction to Freud’s, well, sorry to Béarnaise’s
kind of advertising which was seen as very dour.

So there was a reaction in the 60s and you had this,
along with the counter culture you had counter-

cultural branches of psychiatry,
and from that
you got
things like primal scream therapy, and so on.

Wilhelm Reich was a
really, sort of, ah,
counter-culture psychiatrist, and he,

he was still a psychiatrist, but he suggested
that it was the suppression of desires,

of instinctive desires that
lead to
psychological problems.

That, you know, the world
would be a much better place,

and people would be relieved of their problems,
if it was ok to give in to their
desires, particularly

sexual desires – and that has positive consequences,
we would say
you know, the liberation of homosexuals,

for example. Um. But it, it also, and it was kind of a,
a reaction to um, it was a reaction to, it was a reaction to

the existing dour Freudianism and the manipulative
Freudian psychology in advertising
and so on, you know –

buy this car
it’ll make you sexy,

and you‘ll get a harem
of women, and all this stuff.

It created the greatest sales pitch in history
which is that, if you buy our product,

you’ll become independent,
heroically...

It’s like Madmen. Have you seen Madmen?

I’ve refused to watch it because I know
it will just infuriate me. Because, well,

because for one reason I’ve had
conversations with
people about it

and it becomes a symbol in itself,
you know? So, women will talk

about Donald Draper and I think,
but don’t you see he represents what you –

what’s supposed to have oppressed you?
And you’re
sort of mythologising this –

But it’s more complicated than that -


Well, complex can be a euphemism for hypocritical
and inconsistent as well, you know
. So examples of

advertising - there’s been a Holden
commercial on TV recently,

starts with the phrase:
good things
come to those who want.

And all of these scenes of, you know,
young hip people
with their Holden Commodore, and it ends up on this mini ship,

with
girls in bikinis,
helicopters landing,

there’s
like a helipad on it and three Holdens
out the back, I mean this is
completely just

off the scale aspirationalism. This is an image
of the
end goal - of self-actualisation.

And this constant presentation of
these kinds of outlandish notions

of self-actualisation implicitly also
present the idea that self-actualisation

is the ultimate goal. So they build

I think advertising builds this idea

in modern Westerners that self-
actualisation is the ultimate goal. Now -

So what what do you
what’s the alternative?
What gives you fulfillment?
What satisfies you?

Well, ok. I mean that’s
completely different.

I don’t know,
I like jazz music.

I like science,
mathematics.

I like things that
make sense.

If I say
like just a moment ago

I said, you know, that rational argument
is important or something,

and you said –
but surely it’s not everything. But the point is,
I’m not saying it’s the only thing either, but you’re saying it

as though I’m suggesting there’s no middle ground.
I actually think the middle ground -


Yes. Sorry – Ah – yeah
?



Nah, that’s alright.
What do you – what do you need them for?




Ah –
we’ve just moved here, so there might not be, you know, nothing’s – Oh -



I think
the middle ground has been lost the other way.

As I was saying before, Foucault pointed out that a central tenet
of the Enlightenment is that power should be enacted with reason.

But another aspect of the Enlightenment is Science, and there are a lot of endeavours calling themselves

Science and they’re mostly Social Sciences and they’re mostly very subjective and they’re particularly pernicious

when they’re all about classifying people. And these are things like
Anthropology,

- see you -

Psychology, Psychiatry.

Now, Foucault pointed out that these can and do play a role
of coming up with excuses for why,
in particular cases,

Enlightenment values don’t apply. You know, and that’s been fairly
common in the West after the En
lightenment. So Foucault, for example,

was a gay man and
i t s rum oured that he attempted suicide and he ended up
at a at a psychoana
lyst and it’s assumed, because this was in the fifties,

hom
osexuality was a diagnosis, was a diagnosis of mental illness, the word itself
was an illness, considered to be an illness, well it connoted an illness and he um,

so he would have been sitting in front of the psychoanalyst who was
trying to cure him of his ho
mosexuality, which presumably prompted

him to a
sk a lot of questions about the state of the world, and I guess
he challeng
ed those purported truths, and he came to the conclusion

that social sciences p
lay this role of coming up with reasons why
in this case and that, the Enlightenment doesn’t apply
. And I think

well t
hat’s a very interesting example because we accept now
that hom
osexuality – well, most people accept – it’s a mainstream

view – that there’s nothing wrong with homosexuality
and it’s not a mental illness. But it’s important to remember

that that group was marginalise
d through that purported science,
and it was actually just a different experience, a
minority experience.

A rational approach would be to say it doesn’t matter
that this person is homosexual. It doesn’t matter. So,

why are we wasting our time pathologising people?
The reason why we
waste our time pathologising difference

is
coming back to narratives. It’s because people’s sense of identity –
this is my thesis anyway – people’s sense of identity – a lot of people

will achieve little or nothing in their lives. One of the few things
that they have to show for their lives is that they were normal.

This is a huge investment in their identity. Simply being normal.
So, you do something like you make homosexuality normal –

you can’t say "hey, at least I wasn’t gay." - I mean people
don’t go around saying that -
but when you put them all together,

all the things you could have been, that you weren’t,
then it starts to be an achievement. And as they
get

whittled away, I think it threatens people’s sense of identity.
And so, coming back to politics and symbols and things,

people have this great imperative now,
because of, I think, advertising,

um to – to want to



Because advertising holds up this notion of self-actualisation
as the ultimate goal, that you must
have a heroic narrative to tell,

that you must have no regrets,
and you know, it’s imbedded
in popular culture, every second pop song, rock song –

& Anonomous








Hey dude I ordered that thing for you


OK what he said is
he said if you want a test,
comes in an orjet
and you can’t get that. He’s got
a 10 ml bottle,
and it’s $200 a bottle. He says it’s very hard to get
and it’s all good shit and
it’s $200 a bottle and you can sell it for $300.


I would advise - cause that’s a minimum of –
And then
I’ll get it Tuesday morning.


Well
you can, you can make high grade out of them




I know but you
go round to your mate, and tell your mate the price,
get the money off him.
See what you can do, but just tell him -
even if you’re not making money,
just keep
the guy happy, you know?

Just go get it for him so that you know
what you can get,
what’s in the stuff,
and I can make some profit.
Well you told me to go and do it and I’ve gone and done it.







Well you try to organise it for the weekend
and if you can’t do it, then I’ll tell him.

I can’t
talk to the guy over the phone now I’ve got to go to his work
and I stand out like dogs balls
because I’m known
I’m known to do what I do at that gym, and he’s known to know
what he does at that gym, so it’s all [...]
So I don’t want to go back to him and cancel.
I mean we can’t talk over the phone.

I can’t talk over the phone. I just got a meeting
on Tuesday.


Yeah -


Call call call me back when you can talk.
My mobile’s flat, I need to go home and charge it,
but
call me when you can talk over the phone.

Kay bye.






















Look, I met up with my mate that has that
body-building supplement.
And I ordered five bottles of test [...]
and it’s $200 a bottle, and he says he can sell it for three next week.
[...]

There’s two different kinds of it. There’s a gel one, which is more expensive, and then…

I’ll see if I can get the gel one.
The powdered – the powdered’s just -
I spoke to Cheryl –
she said it
’s very strong. You’ve gotta watch it.
Yeah, read up on it on the net – it’s called,
d’you want to write it down?

It’s called Clenbuteral. C-L-E-N-
B-U-T-E-R.
ter. ral. R-A-L.
Clenbuteral.














How it works, is
it speeds up your metabolism. It speeds up
your metabolism. And it burns fat without you realising it.
So everything you eat gets burned up.
But the only thing is, you can’t take too much or you can have a heart attack.
It’s very strong. OK -

Strippers take it.
That’s what the girls take. The strippers.
They take it
yeah -
to stay lean,
and
people take it to mix with other stuff –

OK, so it’s 200 a bottle for the test, and I’ll give you five bottles,
and then 250 for the Clembuteral. OK. Bye bye.

And I’ll – I’ll see you before then, but I’ll get it the end of next week.



























Where are you, man?





Now listen, if you don’t have my money, I’ll
fucking be pissed off.
I don’t care who you owe money to, you owe me my money, I’m dead broke,
I haven’t smoked for three days, I gave you
my money.


I don’t want to hear your
bullshit, where’s my money?
Don’t tell me you gave it to Albert,
because you only owed Albert 60 bucks.

Where’s my money?

You didn’t – you didn’t answer my phone calls all day, Man.
You purposefully didn’t answer my calls.





You’ve gotta give me –
What time do you start work?
That’s bullshit, because I’ve gotta go out for lunch with my family tomorrow,

and I don’t have any money to go out to lunch with my family.
You go to Albert tonight,

when he’s working, and get my money,
or I’ll fucking smash you when I see you.



























Do you work here?


Can you just get me a pair of scissors?
Sorry to interrupt.



Oh
I’m just going to cut out this Candy on this bag. I found this bag
and I thought it would be a nice sign
in my house: Candy.




They’re
right there.
I’ll give them back. Thanks
.














See you later.

































































Well I
don’t.

I’m too scared to ‘cause every time I go and see someone
they fucken does something to piss me off.







I think you’d be a tad pissed off too.
->

Ivan the Poet

Introduction introduction introduction. Good.

Well my name is Ivan
I come from Croatia originally I-

I’m trying to write some
some beautiful poetry particularly

about this country, and poetry of love,
and I hope that professional writer

wouldn’t be too
critical of me.

So let’s see how we -
if I can praise this ah lady.

What’s your full name?

Well nice to have met you.
Miss Pip Smith or Mrs Pip Smith?

Ms. Excellent.

By being here,
what –

are you trying to promote something?
<- ->

Ivan the Poet

At Lismore I was in the library one morning.

The librarian saw me and she said, “Mr Such-and-Such
I’ve been watching for the last two or three months.

What are you doing?”

She said you have plenty of papers out on the table. She
said can I ask you a question: can I have a look at it?

I said of course you can.

She read at it and she said, “I’m a librarian, I went to uni
and I can’t write one verse.”

And she disappeared.
<- ->

Ivan the Poet

Loneliness? Bring ‘em here.

Alcoholism drug addiction and then maybe
schizophrenia mental illness whatever.

I don’t know many people here.

Maybe two or three of them associated
with the staff, mostly, you know.

But that lady down there,
her daughter comes here.

Occasionally her name is Tess.

<- ->

Ivan the Poet

People in the Public

Don’t worry about it, the public are smart.

They’re not stupid. The only thing is
they have to unload a bit of the money

so people can make a living. Like this
lady there, she paints at home.

Got her – she got a couple of verses.

I don’t need no money at this stage of my life, mate.
I left my country, not because I needed money, I left
because of my social phobia. Now I’m getting a little

getting a little bit
getting a little bit
anxious.

I would have liked to
to hear what you people
would have to say, but um.

My father used to used to abuse me verbal
in front of the drunk people at various pubs.

When I needed affection and hugs or whatever
I got nothing. Through this I find affection.

People appreciate my verses and they love it and I’m
I’m I’m I’m beaming you know.

That’s all I want.
<- ->

Ivan the Poet

I’ve got two little books.

Set of two. The two extremes:
The Poetry of Love, and Reality.

Yes yes. On the Poetry of Love,
I’m going to have, ah, a lady
holding a flower.

I asked at least 20 volunteers, students,
I think I could have asked one lady here.
Nobody wants to be on the cover of my book.

On the Book of Reality I want to have fellow
in a wheelchair. Because, about three months ago,
I was at Central Station watching one fellow in a wheelchair.

Quietly, doing this.

Invalid.

I watched him for nearly 15 minutes.
I approached him.
I shook his hand. I said to him,

“I’ve been watching for a little while.
nobody ever said nothing to you

‘hello’, whatever.” He said, “oh,
this is the situation. Ignorance
of people nowadays, you know.”

And I said, “I’m going to start writing a poem
about a fellow in a wheelchair.”

That will be my second saddest poem.

<- ->

Ivan the Poet

I want to make some money a little bit.

Between you and I. No listen,
when you’re on a limited income
you struggle all the way. Now

with epilepsy, bad back
no one wants to know you.
Even in a place like this I, ah –

As I’m getting older it’s getting more and more difficult.
So, these two little books. I thought about it the other day.
If I had them published like this, and then I – I can get –

what is $30 nowadays from somebody?

Poetry is a form of art, like music, or
– I don’t know –
I said to myself just the other day,

if I can get $30 for either book,
Sydney has got 4 ½ million people.

Larger than Croatia.
Croatia has got 4.4 million.

So this city: all the way from Penrith,
Campbelltown, it’s all one big smoke,

isn’t it? $30 for a set of 2.
30,000 books within 12 months.
That’s $900 000.

Why shouldn’t I? You wanna bet?
You wanna have a bet with me?

I’m hoping someone will do it for me.
I’m looking for a rich lady.

You know something?
You know something?

You could be one of those.
<- ->

Ivan the Poet

No no, Listen.

People are busking. People are busking.

People are selling Big Issue,
making $2.50 on each Issue.

Went to breakfast a couple of weeks ago.
One fellow, he makes about $200 in 2 weeks

selling Issue. One Issue, $5,
you get $2.50. People are doing,

ah, different things!

I said, well why shouldn’t I spend 2
or 3 hours in Martin Place or somewhere?

No, listen. Keep on dreaming.
Well, I’m looking at it differently.

You’ve got 4 1/2 million people in the City of Sydney.
A million in Brisbane, 2 million in –

Well, I’m going to open their eyes.

<- ->

Ivan the Poet

My younger brother

This country would be perfect for my brother.
He was three. He’s three years younger.

He’s got two daughters about your age
and a son. He was a fitter and turner.

Give him fishing rod, a bike: bye bye child
you don’t see me all day. Come home with

fish. Give me seed and water and soil:
I plant something for you. Then I – Well,

there’s no point in worrying too much.
<- ->

Ivan the Poet

I Wrote Two Books about Australia.

Have you written one? What? Don’t
tell me kind of. Either did you
or didn’t you? I’ve got two. No no no

poems. Well let’s. It’s a challenge to you.
As as as a profess –

as a budding professional poet.

You know why? You know why?
Because, and again, it is –
I’ve written, I’ve written two.

And they are totally different.

If you got a thousand individuals in the room.
A thousand people. And gave each person
a pen and a paper and tell the person to write
the Poem of Australia, each one would be different.

Some would rhyme,
rah rah rah.

See, that’s the thing about poetry isn’t it?
You can like poetry without rhyme.
Without it. But then, ah, we shouldn’t
be too critical about one or the other.

Be-
be-
bec-
because

it is a
it it is a
art form isn’t it?

People exp
express themselves.

That’s what I said.

<- ->

Ivan the Poet

One day, it’s going to just explode.

One day, I’m going to win some money on Lotto.
Spend $10 this morning on NRL. All I need is, ah,

return ticket. And I wouldn’t even go to Yugoslavia,
despite the fact I’ve been away for a long time.

I’d go straight to Napoli, Roma,
for 3 months. It’s a dream. You see,

you’re a dreamer. We’re all dreamers.
We all dream. We’ve got nothing.

<- ->

Ivan the Poet

Lambrusco

About three or four years ago
when I was in Brisbane, I had a –

I was in a boarding house. See,
I go to one boarding house to the other,

then I get tired, I go somewhere else.

And one day I had a couple of glasses of Lambrusco
before I got my epilepsy, and I wrote my epitaph.

Drunk. Drunk,
you know.

Woke up in the morning: 20 or 30 pieces of paper
on the floor. 20, maybe more, bits and pieces
on the desk: my epitaph.

When I was sober I woke up
with a headache, you know.

It says – This is the End.
In brackets: my epitaph.

That’s what happened
with a couple of glasses of Lambrusco.

I hoped it would cheer me up a little bit, you know?
<- ->

Ivan the Poet

I was 14 15 16 17 18 19,

if my father wasn’t home by 4 or 5 o’clock,
that would be indication he’s going to come
home drunk. Mum would tell: righteo mate,

in the middle of my studying. Spring
summer winter or whatever: "Son,
hop on a bike, try to find Dad."

There are two towns.
One where I was born.

In 1958 we build a house
in such a beautiful place.

It’s on a map, it’s called Valpo.
If you open a map now of ah,

of ah Europe, it’s close to Hungaria border.
It’s only 8000 population. But why it’s on
the map? In Yugoslavia we have such system.

If a town or village has any historic significance,
it’ll be on the map. Why this place has got a historic
significance? It’s got a beautiful castle in the middle.

Local lord build a castle with a moat,
everything there on about 400 acres
of land. The gardens around this town

where my people, family, lived
in ‘58, were the most beautiful
gardens in Europe. So. Valpo.

I had a look the other day: still sitting there.
<- ->

Ivan the Poet

A couple of months ago these people printed a book.

A massive book.
Can’t believe it mate!

Got this Aboriginal on the cover.
They’re charging 87 dollars. I’m not –

I’m not in it. Now look, mostly,
a few homeless, and probably
drug addicts or whatever.

And I’m not saying I’m better than alcoholic
drug addicts or whatever it is, but still I’m -

That was before I ah
started coming here.
<- ->

Ivan the Poet

The Saddest Poem Ever Written,

- you may record it if you like -
is about the war in Yugoslavia.

I was in Brisbane one winter day, in different boarding house,
and I said to myself: mate, I have got to get something on my chest.

Because I was in the army during peace time. In 1967 – 68. in a city called
Lumë which means “the river”, you know? Who was my best friend?

A Serb. He was 20. Former boxer. I was 19. Young man. Innocent.
Never had a girl or whatever. The only girl I had was my Mum –

making sure she’s being protected from her drunken husband.
And in 1971, I escaped. Left everything behind. I sometimes feel

so guilty. Mum said to me
(she came in 1979) she said

don’t worry about it. Your brother came from the army two months
after your departure, so there was someone to protect me from your

from your Dad. My Dad passed away the following year. I gave
I gave half of my house to my brother. He’s got three kids

about your age. Two girls and a
and a son. And in ‘95 they ostracised me

because I have no money to bring him here.
So. This is my family. This, at night.

One day wish you could come down to Martin Place
at bout 9 o’clock. To see some of these people. Other

people. The volunteers, with a van. Two different
names. One brings sandwiches and coffee or fruit

and whatever. But I go because the social thing is.
That’s what. I could be sitting in the pub, drinking,

and it would be the end of me.
<- ->

Ivan the Poet

Because You Are Young Woman

When I wrote this beautiful verse about woman
it was a dedication to my Mum.

She was perfect.
She was perfect wife,
she was perfect Mum

and she still wasn’t good enough for my Dad.

He was playing around with other women.
Mum knew it. Mum came in 1979 to visit me
and she said,

ah son,
the reason I stayed within family structure
is because, she said, I had two little boys.

And I said, well thank goodness,
you know, at least she said something.

Les Murray or whatever,
I don’t know why they don’t like
to write about women.

It’s only John Lennon with music attached to it.
Is a beautiful woman this and that and whatever.

You see, when you buy coffee:
there she appears. There’s a wedding
or something like that. You go out there:

OPPOSITE GENDER.

My Mum said to me when she was here:
Son, we women are much more important than you are,
because of us, the human race continues.

I said of course Ma,
everyone knows it.
<- ->

Ivan the Poet

Professional Poets,

they write for a selected few.

Maybe people like me, who are
amateur poets, find ah – find a little bit,

ah, you gotta write down –
you can write something down?

The title is,

Anything But

The poetry without a rhyme.
Is anything but being sublime.

That’s mine. That’s come from my brain.

See? Simple brain. Different country.
I reckon it’s – it’s – you like it?

Well I’m not saying that I’m trying to teach you
anything, but one thing is, I’m mutual individual.

I’ve been around. I’ve suffered.
<- ->

Ivan the Poet

Back to My Saddest Poem.

My saddest poem is about my homeland,
Yugoslavia. I still call myself Yugoslavian,
because despite being a Croat, I’m a pacifist,
you know. I’m 63 years of age. I never hit/
struck anyone in my life, and I don’t intend to,
you know? One day when I had a few drinks
back in Brisbane, I tried to put a few things
together in my mind. Took me to my homeland,
you know, cause I had to get something
on my chest, and I did. It goes like this:

Reminiscing, Reminiscing
The Homeland Yugoslavia
1991 – 1995

My emotions are shattered
Below is a crater filled with grief
There is no end to end
But force myself to be brief

Another bloody sunset
Swallowed by the rivers of darkness
Emphasis on this insanity
With erratic yes yes yes

The mockingbird’s resting up on a solitary yellow tree
With falling leaves draining sorrow
The jokes on me
You have had it all

The martin’s caressing a son
Having a snowy ball
The blue sea in a chapel of a child so free
For every nation to embrace severing to see

The matrons of debt
The feeling void’s strife
Lonely shadows are searching
Searching for the meaning of life

Oh Mum, I might only reach
If I could say I have lost you somewhere along the way
The reason for leaving in the … of pity
Has been set aside, in this insignificant dity.

Maybe I missed a little bit. A couple of sentences.
I would have liked to have it in front of me.
But anyway, you got the crux of the matter.

<- ->

Ivan the Poet

When people ask me why do you like poetry with rhyme:

You got two separate entities.

You got your eyes and paradise; or day,
away. Two different expressions.

When you put them together:
they rhyme. For me, I’m beaming.

For me, maybe simple thing. I don’t live
simple area. But when you write prose,

you have to concentrate. You have to
sit down. It’s all metaphors, isn’t it.

If I send this poem to the Serbian Newspaper, and I say,
“Mr Milosevic, your former leader, is a mockingbird”

they wouldn’t like that.

But if I send Croatian one, I can write “Mr Milosevic,
Former President Milosevic is a mockingbird.”

so they can try to understand what I’m trying to say.
Falling leaves? All those dead bodies. Because of him.

So: mockingbirds. He’s sitting there, laughing all the way.
Blood is falling all over. Some people wouldn’t have a clue.

Then I ask. I try to encourage them to read. Because
you can read a newspaper within yourself. But poem?

Even by poor bugger like myself? Read it aloud.
Even to a child. Even to yourself or whatever.

And then you’re going to get the full impact.
<- ->

Ivan the Poet

The Aussie Guy,

The Aussie man, they’re not
sulking like me. They go for it,

you know that?

They live amongst it. As I said,
I come from different culture. Look,

I live in area, you get a woman
for a hundred bucks. You go up there…

The other day, I was sitting there,
one lady approached me. She works.

She’s a worker, you know,
in the particular area there,

she said, you want a girl for today,
hundred and ten dollars? I said:

Listen,

even if I could afford it,
those women, I’m a poet.

She went like this,
she went whoop,

and walk away.
<- ->

Ivan the Poet

At the coffee van

There were people from Hilton.
Volunteers. Five guys, one girl.

One works in the gym from England,
fellow, you know, dark fellow,

one in reception, a young lady
and I said: One Lady,

I don’t want to leave you,
leave you. Just go with nothing.

You gave me a cup of coffee
and then I took two biscuits.

I am a poet.
I like to leave you a nice poem.

The three guys are looking like this.
Probably whispering or whatever.

And I recited to this lady
one only short verse,

it’s one of my favourites.
And it goes like this:

A bed of roses

I have slept near the bed of roses
With the colours of white, red and blue
I have met a most special one
The incredible you.

And this lady, younger than you,
smile like THIS to THIS.

And I thought to myself:
I’m gonna get a hug, I hope.

I didn’t.

So, no. This one
is for you.
<- ->

Ivan the Poet

Pip!

This is dedication to you! I might not see you again!

I can see within your eyes, a little Bird of Paradise
Flying away, to a final sunny day
I can feel the touch of familiar hand
Guiding me towards the Promised Land.

Pleasure. Maybe one day
you will recite a poem for me.

<-

Ivan the Poet

You can tell your parents,

tell your friends,

you met the loneliest man in the city;
you met the loneliest immigrant in the city.

Sydney is my favourite city.

Everything I need is here.
So every time I go bush, or Brisbane,
something’s missing. I come back,

and I remember, Circular Quay
is my favourite place. Like tonight

I want to watch rugby league:
there’s the Paragon Hotel.

I get my schooner of soft drink: $3.50.
And I sit in the corner like this, like a little -
Nobody see me, and I’m watching TV.

People, normal people – because I don’t
regard myself as normal – normal people

are living normal lives. Boys and girls.
Many women. I’m all by myself.

I can’t afford any friendship, relationship
or whatever. I don’t know how to put it.

Is, ah. When, ah. This hooked up
in the system i’nit. It’s all about

power or money. You have to.
Or aggression. You know,

good guys like me don’t
get a girl, or find a woman.

Only bad guys. Not bad guys
necessarily - physically,

or whatever. You have to
open. Which I never did.

Which I never did.
->

DJ

Volunteering

I’m DJ. Volunteering for about eleven years. Yeah.
Well I had to um I had to do some volunteering
cause when I was doing my business degree
Centrelink wanted me to do some volunteering
and they gave me a list of various places
that offered volunteering and Wayside
was the only place that actually responded.

<- ->

DJ

Arthur

One of our characters, who is now in a nursing home, his name was Arthur.
He was studying to become a doctor, but he had a motorcycle accident.
Ended up in one of the institutions, to get shock treatment and other things.

It scattered his brain. He’s schizophrenic. He used to come here
and squat down against the wall. On the side wall. Chantal and I
looked out the window one time and saw him talking as he does.
We thought he was just talking to somebody. But when we actually
looked at who he was talking to, he was talking to a couple of horses
that the police were riding down the side street. He was having this
conversation with one of the horses, so the police had stopped for him.

Another time he was out the front, and this elderly couple went up
to Arthur and asked him where the fountain is. He looked up at them
and said, Can’t you see there’s a monkey shitting in my brain?

<- ->

DJ

Andy

There was an older man, Andy,
who was Hungarian. He would often
sing love songs to young women
who would come into Wayside.
Serenade them with Amore
and other songs he knew.

There were three steps leading down
from the chapel in the old building,
and he was the only guy we knew
who could fall down those steps,
holding a stubby of beer,
and not spill a drop.

<- ->

DJ

Radio John

1

One we’ve lost recently was Radio John.
He was renowned for walking up and down
Darlinghurst Rd with a radio strapped to his ear,
microphone in hand, singing songs. He used to
tell us he was the fifth Beatle, that he wrote all
the Beatles’ hits, and whenever he had a gripe
with society or his situation or with what
was going on, he would go into Graham Long’s
office, and he would vent his frustration.

Graham would put on the Beatles’ music,
John’d sit down and he’d try and sing,
but he didn’t know the words.



<- ->

DJ

Radio John

2

For some reason, he liked to get his gear off.
So many times you’d see him - Darlinghurst Rd,
Wayside - stark naked as he was, and one time
he came into the café, the old café. Chantal
and I were there and he started taking his clothes off.
Folded them up. Put them on the table and then he
runs out the door. Jim George - he was one of our old
Wayside staff members - he has a Wayside shirt on,
rubber gloves, bald head, running down the street
following this naked bloke, with people going,
He went that way! He went that way! No,
he went that way!
Yeah. For some reason
he didn’t like wearing clothes as much.
<- ->

DJ

Radio John

3

They found him a place on Bourke St.

Accommodation on Bourke St.
and he wasn’t happy with it,

so he moved his Karaoke machine out
into the street, and set fire to his apartment.

Yeah, he was always singing. He’d often
come into Wayside and have music playing.

He loved his journals too. Even though
he never used them. His diaries, journals.

When he passed away, the Salvos
went through his belongings.

He had fifteen journals in his backpack.
None of which had ever been used.



<- ->

DJ

Radio John

4

He would often want a lift home, and when he was told
Wayside doesn’t offer a taxi service, he would literally
go off his rocker. In the old café, we had heavy tables
and chairs and not a day would go by where he wouldn’t
throw these tables and chairs around the room
until somebody drove him home. Eventually police
were called and soon as the police walk in through the door,
he sees them, he looks at them, and he begrudgingly
walks to the cop car.
They drove him home.
Once,
he asked Graham for a lift home. And Graham says,
well it’s out of my way but I’ll take you, and Graham
drove him back to his place. But when Graham arrived
back at Wayside no more than half an hour later,
there’s John, sitting at a table, eating a meal.

<- ->

DJ

Radio John

5

John had this disagreement with one of our volunteers
about Arthur Beetson, the footballer. He tried making out
that Arthur Beetson was born in the Eastern Suburbs,
because that’s the team he played for. And this volunteer,
who was originally from Queensland, said, No John
he came from Queensland where I was born, and John goes,
Conspiracy! Conspiracy! No he was a New South Wales boy!
He was born in the Eastern Suburbs! He was born
in Bondi Junction!
And I had, some would say, a stupid idea
of suggesting to this volunteer to look on the internet
to show John that Arthur Beetson was actually born
in Queensland. So we get up, we google Arthur Beetson
and it comes up: Arthur Beetson: born in Roma, Queensland,
played in the first Queensland State of Origin, played
for Eastern Suburbs Rugby League. And the volunteer
got John and took him around to the computer and said,
See John, here it says Arthur Beetson: born Roma Queensland,
and John goes, This is a fucking Conspiracy! Picks up the computer,
and drops it on the floor.



<- ->

DJ

Radio John

6

But his greatest claim to fame
was that he had the longest

male member
anyone had ever

seen. He was no more than five foot,
but his thing was fourteen inches.

Yeah.

I don’t know how that works, but
he ah, he would often. He used to,

as I said, he used to like
going up to Darlinghurst Rd

and he used to like getting his gear off.
And he um. He would often strip.

The Japanese tourists would come by
and they’d never seen anything quite like it.
<- ->

DJ

Billy Bubbles

He’s now in Queensland, but when he was living here,
he was living on the streets. He would often, I would often

find him at Springfield Mall where he’d be sleeping off
some alcohol. And one time I was walking to Wayside

and he decided to follow me. So I’m walking with him
and after a short while I realise I’m walking on my own.

I turn around and he’s stopped where the MacDonald’s is,
and he’s decided to face the wall and shoot. He’s decided

to face the wall and let fly with the ah.
I just decided to keep on walking.

He came in later but. He’d often
come in here for a meal. The meal

would end up on the floor.
<- ->

DJ

Priscilla



1

Priscilla used her female bits more than others.

I was with her at Central Station and this Asian man
approached her and asked her for a lend of some money.

Out came this $50 note from where most women wouldn’t
think to put $50. I don’t know who picked it up, if anybody did.

None of us did. She looked at me and said, what’s wrong? It’s the safest
place for a woman to keep her belongings. If she drank cheap wine
and the wind changed she could just go off the trolley. One time

she got into trouble with the police and she was back at the Surry Hills
lock up. They stripped searched her. After they’d taken everything off her,
they’re still hearing this music, and they don’t know where it’s coming from.

She has this headset on, and the chord runs down her body and up
into her woman part. And ah, she was the only woman I knew
who could actually change the channel by moving her legs.



<-

DJ

Priscilla



2

When the National Australia bank was up on Darlinghurst Rd,
she’d often sit under the ATM and scream at people. She’d often
drink and she’d be quite loud and aggressive. And sometimes,
if I sat with her, these women would walk past and she’d scream,

I didn’t come from your vagina!

She was one of those characters who ah
passed away early this year. Early fifties.

She had a bad heart.
->

Damien

I’m actually a script writer

I write scripts, for the people who act on TV.
Um, did you see the show the Oyster Farmer?
So I wrote all the scripts for the people who acted.

I’m not good at poetry. Only scripts.
But I’m interested in writing a poem
if you still have time. Sorry if I came

down too late. I didn’t realise it was on still.
The way I see it, I write stories, or books
about crime and horror and that sort of thing.

Half of the scripts I’ve written
have been published.

But it’s all up in here.
<- ->

Damien

Four Scripts

1
A young girl with some friends of hers went to see a movie,
but on the way a group of young guys pulled up beside them
and said, "where are you going to?" They did not respond.

They then keep walking up the street when car pulls out
in front of them. The guy gets out and says, "I’ll give you a l-i-f-t."

The end.

2

One jumps out of the car and says "I’ll give you a lift" and she says
"I don’t know you, I’m staying with my friends." Ah, she then
tries to walk away. As she turns around a second guy jumps out.

She gets an ambulance to go with them. They then drive off,

and that’s it.

3

So I’m kind of replaying an episode of Crime Investigation Australia,
except I’m adding. So basically, what I’m trying to do, is replay exactly
what was happening, and I remember in the episode I saw on Crime
Investigation Australia a group of girls were walking down the street.

They were right in the park, and they were camping overnight.

A backpack. With some food in it. Pink leather.

4

I’ve seen this poster, saying behind every picture, there’s always some -
They were advertising some pornography, and it said in capital letters,

BEHIND EVERY PICTURE THERE’S ALWAYS SOME HARM.

And they had a picture of a young person,

so I thought that would be an idea.
<- ->

Damien

I like the people here.

Well, half of them.

But when I said the people, I –
mainly the staff here. Not really
the other patrons. So I get along
with the staff better than I do

with the patrons.

<- ->

Damien

Exciting?

Being accused for something. Being told
you’re being charged for something.
Then calling the cops and realising
they’re not charging you for something.
<- ->

Damien

This happened last night

I had a seizure and I ended up in Emergency.

I was staying at my friend’s place
and I couldn’t get my pills in time.

I called the locksmith.

They kicked me out because I called a locksmith to get in
and I didn’t tell them. So they told the cops,
we want him charged.

I then spoke to the cops this afternoon,
they said, we didn’t put you in custody
straight off, we took you home.

So therefore we’re still investigating it.
So we’re not charging you for it.

So I’m getting away with it.

But I’m very lucky I didn’t get
put in handcuffs straight away.

I just wanted to add that as my exciting part:

Today.
<- ->

Damien

I prefer the old building.

You know that feeling?
<- ->

Damien

And I didn’t tell you that my uncle’s a cop in Queensland.

If I ever end up in jail, he said, I’ll get you out of it.
For being accused of something I barely even did.

Because I didn’t steal their stuff. They’ve been going around
telling everybody I broke into their place. I didn’t steal
their stuff. I only went in there to grab my pills.

But they came here telling everybody that
he broke into our place and everything he says
is all just bullshit and you shouldn’t believe him.

But you don’t think I’m lying, do you?
<- ->

Damien

Twilight

I have a picture of the collector’s edition, the big picture,
and it seems like they’re actually walking
through the house of a night. I like it because I feel safe.

If I stay out of the sun, I feel kind of like I’m a bit
similar to them, in a way. If I spend too much time in the sun
I start to - I know that sounds a bit strange.

Have you ever seen Smoke? It means that smoke
comes out of you. Because somebody or something told me
that the people in Twilight films are exactly the same.

They try and avoid the sun as much as they possibly can.
And they go out of an evening when there’s no sun and it’s really
really pitch black. Then I can spend hours. Doing anything.

Going to Ruffy’s. Going to all of the food vans.

Hi Crystal! Yeah, I’m saying hello to you. Are you going to
say hello back? So, are we still friends, or what?

I started realising that smoke starts to come out of me
if I spend too much time in the bright sunlight. Then,
I started realising that I always have cold hands.

Ever seen Ed Wood? Ed Wood always had cold hands.
And he never liked anybody to touch his hands.
<- ->

Damien

My cat Monty

He’s a black Burmese cat with yellow eyes.
He’s quite old and he’s blind and a bit deaf
and he has no teeth. So he has to suck everything.

Why are you wearing two different socks Crystal?
Yeah, I’ll keep an eye on your stuff.

Everyone in my family has a cat. Everybody in my family
has a cat so it’s a cat family. I like how they’re easy.
And you don’t have to take them out walking. You can just
sleep and the cat will walk up and dribble on you.

Ah Crystal!
<- ->

Damien

Um I’ve got a date on the 31st

with a tattooist. For coffee.
From Sleeve Masters in Potts Point.
Tattoo shop. I just think that

scorpions are a pretty cool creature.
I’d say that cats are pretty cool too
and cats definitely rock.

What’s so good about a scorpion?
How its tail is curvy and long
which is kind of like a cat.

And how it points on an angle,
then how it’s straight up,
same as a cat’s tail.

Scorpions can kill you,
but cats can as well.
So anyway, she said,

if you pick me up at 11am in the morning from work,
we’ll go back to my place and I’ll get you a bottle of champagne
for your birthday. So: champagne and coffee. If I’m 26,

she’s five years older.

Jasmine. But she
calls herself Jazz.
<-

Damien

Body in a Sports Bag
{this is a true story}


- By damien & Pip

At about 1 am he is still up
long-thinking about
what to do next.

He goes to her work and stands
outside Bondi McDonald’s. Its curves
are kind of like being on a rollercoaster.

So round about 6
she finishes her shift, comes out
turns around, and she sees him,

standing outside: baseball cap,
casual jeans. She’s standing
on the edge of Niagara. Can’t go

anywhere but down.
Turns around and says,

nothing.

It’s cold and bucketing outside.
It’s exciting getting all wet.

Cats are outside
sitting on a brick wall
drinking Coke.

The cats drove to Bondi
In the cat car and saw
the whole thing.

Marc

It was Michel Foucault who pointed out that one of the central tenets
of the Enlightenment was that power should be enacted with reason,

which is not a small concept, because of course it’s central to the notion
of democracy, for example. Democracy is an idea that power is enacted

through a dialectic struggle which is the formation
of the aggregate opinion of the majority of people.

But also you’ve got ideas like
rationalism and science

which also informs that dialectic
struggle, in a way that means

the conclusions that people arrive to ought
to be informed. They should be rational.

They should be a rational discourse so people
start with an agreed collection of axioms.

They agree on them. They make non-controversial
inferences, so that the other person can’t dispute it –

or if they can, then that means
your argument is weak, right?

That’s, I think, the situation now, is that argument
has no place. Argument has no –

reasoned argument has no place
in Australia in 2011. No,

it’s all politics of symbols. It’s all
about symbols. Well the really

crucial symbol is the symbol
that people create for themselves.

How they define themselves. What their narrative is.
There’s a great impetus for people to form a concept

of what their own narrative is. And I think that’s a big,
that’s an aspect of consumerist culture. Because advertising –

because consumer culture - so originally
advertising was about informing people

of the reasons why your product
is better than other people’s.

Or at least why your product
is a good product.

And then it was Edward Béarnaise,
the nephew of Freud, who first applied

psychology to advertising and turned it into this idea
of fulfilling people’s sort of – sub sub –

yeah subconscious needs and desires. And then,
you know, there was a very active, very active

push in the US for example. I mean, the New Deal meant that
there was a very large middle class and this caused manufacturers

to panic, cause they went: well, now that so many people
are satisfied, how can we continue selling things?

I mean these sound like abstract, or even sort of maybe
paranoid concepts, but they’re there. They’re historical.

Advertising is not something on the periphery of society.
It’s everywhere. It’s everywhere. It’s in the sinews of society.

If someone watches television - and the average Australian watches
several hours of television every day – three minutes out of every ten,

they’re going to sit there
and watch advertising.





There was a reaction to Freud’s, well, sorry to Béarnaise’s
kind of advertising which was seen as very dour.

So there was a reaction in the 60s and you had this,
along with the counter culture you had counter-

cultural branches of psychiatry, and from that
you got things like primal scream therapy, and so on.

Wilhelm Reich was a really, sort of, ah,
counter-culture psychiatrist, and he,

he was still a psychiatrist, but he suggested
that it was the suppression of desires,

of instinctive desires that lead to
psychological problems.

That, you know, the world
would be a much better place,

and people would be relieved of their problems,
if it was ok to give in to their desires, particularly

sexual desires – and that has positive consequences,
we would say – you know, the liberation of homosexuals,

for example. Um. But it, it also, and it was kind of a,
a reaction to um, it was a reaction to, it was a reaction to

the existing dour Freudianism and the manipulative
Freudian psychology in advertising and so on, you know –

buy this car
it’ll make you sexy,

and you‘ll get a harem
of women, and all this stuff.

It created the greatest sales pitch in history
which is that, if you buy our product,
you’ll become independent,
heroically...

It’s like Madmen. Have you seen Madmen?

I’ve refused to watch it because I know
it will just infuriate me. Because, well,

because for one reason I’ve had
conversations with people about it

and it becomes a symbol in itself,
you know? So, women will talk

about Donald Draper and I think,
but don’t you see he represents what you –

what’s supposed to have oppressed you?
And you’re sort of mythologising this –

But it’s more complicated than that -


Well, complex can be a euphemism for hypocritical
and inconsistent as well, you know. So examples of

advertising - there’s been a Holden
commercial on TV recently,

starts with the phrase: good things
come to those who want.

And all of these scenes of, you know, young hip people
with their Holden Commodore, and it ends up on this mini ship,

with girls in bikinis,
helicopters landing,

there’s like a helipad on it and three Holdens
out the back, I mean this is completely just

off the scale aspirationalism. This is an image
of the end goal - of self-actualisation.

And this constant presentation of
these kinds of outlandish notions

of self-actualisation implicitly also
present the idea that self-actualisation

is the ultimate goal. So they build –
I think advertising builds this idea

in modern Westerners that self-
actualisation is the ultimate goal. Now -

So what what do you
what’s the alternative?
What gives you fulfillment?
What satisfies you?

Well, ok. I mean that’s
completely different.

I don’t know,
I like jazz music.

I like science,
mathematics.

I like things that make sense.

If I say
like just a moment ago

I said, you know, that rational argument
is important or something,

and you said –
but surely it’s not everything. But the point is,
I’m not saying it’s the only thing either, but you’re saying it

as though I’m suggesting there’s no middle ground.
I actually think the middle ground -


Yes. Sorry – Ah – yeah?



Nah, that’s alright.
What do you – what do you need them for?




Ah – we’ve just moved here, so there might not be, you know, nothing’s – Oh -



I think the middle ground has been lost the other way.

As I was saying before, Foucault pointed out that a central tenet
of the Enlightenment is that power should be enacted with reason.

But another aspect of the Enlightenment is Science, and there are a lot of endeavours calling themselves

Science and they’re mostly Social Sciences and they’re mostly very subjective and they’re particularly pernicious

when they’re all about classifying people. And these are things like
Anthropology,

- see you -

Psychology, Psychiatry.

Now, Foucault pointed out that these can and do play a role
of coming up with excuses for why, in particular cases,

Enlightenment values don’t apply. You know, and that’s been fairly
common in the West after the Enlightenment. So Foucault, for example,

was a gay man and it’s rumoured that he attempted suicide and he ended up
at a at a psychoanalyst and it’s assumed, because this was in the fifties,

homosexuality was a diagnosis, was a diagnosis of mental illness, the word itself
was an illness, considered to be an illness, well it connoted an illness and he um,

so he would have been sitting in front of the psychoanalyst who was
trying to cure him of his homosexuality, which presumably prompted

him to ask a lot of questions about the state of the world, and I guess
he challenged those purported truths, and he came to the conclusion

that social sciences play this role of coming up with reasons why
in this case and that, the Enlightenment doesn’t apply. And I think

well that’s a very interesting example because we accept now
that homosexuality – well, most people accept – it’s a mainstream

view – that there’s nothing wrong with homosexuality
and it’s not a mental illness. But it’s important to remember

that that group was marginalised through that purported science,
and it was actually just a different experience, a minority experience.

A rational approach would be to say it doesn’t matter
that this person is homosexual. It doesn’t matter. So,

why are we wasting our time pathologising people?
The reason why we waste our time pathologising difference

is coming back to narratives. It’s because people’s sense of identity –
this is my thesis anyway – people’s sense of identity – a lot of people

will achieve little or nothing in their lives. One of the few things
that they have to show for their lives is that they were normal.

This is a huge investment in their identity. Simply being normal.
So, you do something like you make homosexuality normal –

you can’t say "hey, at least I wasn’t gay." - I mean people
don’t go around saying that - but when you put them all together,

all the things you could have been, that you weren’t,
then it starts to be an achievement. And as they get

whittled away, I think it threatens people’s sense of identity.
And so, coming back to politics and symbols and things,

people have this great imperative now,
because of, I think, advertising,

um to – to want to



Because advertising holds up this notion of self-actualisation
as the ultimate goal, that you must have a heroic narrative to tell,

that you must have no regrets, and you know, it’s imbedded
in popular culture, every second pop song, rock song –

Anonomous








Hey dude I ordered that thing for you


OK what he said is
he said if you want a test, comes in an orjet
and you can’t get that. He’s got a 10 ml bottle,
and it’s $200 a bottle. He says it’s very hard to get
and it’s all good shit and it’s $200 a bottle and you can sell it for $300.


I would advise - cause that’s a minimum of –
And then I’ll get it Tuesday morning.


Well you can, you can make high grade out of them




I know but you go round to your mate, and tell your mate the price,
get the money off him.
See what you can do, but just tell him -
even if you’re not making money,
just keep the guy happy, you know?

Just go get it for him so that you know
what you can get, what’s in the stuff,
and I can make some profit.
Well you told me to go and do it and I’ve gone and done it.





Well you try to organise it for the weekend
and if you can’t do it, then I’ll tell him.

I can’t talk to the guy over the phone now I’ve got to go to his work
and I stand out like dogs balls because I’m known
I’m known to do what I do at that gym, and he’s known to know
what he does at that gym, so it’s all [...]
So I don’t want to go back to him and cancel.
I mean we can’t talk over the phone.

I can’t talk over the phone. I just got a meeting on Tuesday.


Yeah -


Call call call me back when you can talk.
My mobile’s flat, I need to go home and charge it,
but call me when you can talk over the phone.

Kay bye.
























Look, I met up with my mate that has that
body-building supplement.
And I ordered five bottles of test [...]
and it’s $200 a bottle, and he says he can sell it for three next week.
[...]

There’s two different kinds of it. There’s a gel one, which is more expensive, and then…

I’ll see if I can get the gel one.
The powdered – the powdered’s just -
I spoke to Cheryl –
she said it’s very strong. You’ve gotta watch it.
Yeah, read up on it on the net – it’s called,
d’you want to write it down?

It’s called Clenbuteral. C-L-E-N-
B-U-T-E-R.
ter. ral. R-A-L.
Clenbuteral.














How it works, is it speeds up your metabolism. It speeds up
your metabolism. And it burns fat without you realising it.
So everything you eat gets burned up.
But the only thing is, you can’t take too much or you can have a heart attack.
It’s very strong. OK -

Strippers take it.
That’s what the girls take. The strippers.
They take it
yeah -
to stay lean,
and people take it to mix with other stuff –

OK, so it’s 200 a bottle for the test, and I’ll give you five bottles,
and then 250 for the Clembuteral. OK. Bye bye.

And I’ll – I’ll see you before then, but I’ll get it the end of next week.



























Where are you, man?




Now listen, if you don’t have my money, I’ll fucking be pissed off.
I don’t care who you owe money to, you owe me my money, I’m dead broke,
I haven’t smoked for three days,
I gave you my money.



I don’t want to hear your bullshit, where’s my money?
Don’t tell me you gave it to Albert,
because you only owed Albert 60 bucks.
Where’s my money?

You didn’t – you didn’t answer my phone calls all day, Man.
You purposefully didn’t answer my calls.





You’ve gotta give me – What time do you start work?
That’s bullshit, because I’ve gotta go out for lunch with my family tomorrow,

and I don’t have any money to go out to lunch with my family.
You go to Albert tonight,

when he’s working, and get my money,
or I’ll fucking smash you when I see you.



























Do you work here?


Can you just get me a pair of scissors?
Sorry to interrupt.



Oh I’m just going to cut out this Candy on this bag. I found this bag
and I thought it would be a nice sign in my house: Candy.




They’re right there.
I’ll give them back. Thanks.














See you later.

































































Well I don’t.

I’m too scared to ‘cause every time I go and see someone
they fucken does something to piss me off.







I think you’d be a tad pissed off too.